Talk:Bizogot
The Opening of the World obviously needs more info. I am working on meanwhile, can somebody make a template for the series? Zhukov15 (talk) 17:29, August 20, 2013 (UTC) :Personally, I was so offended by its pathetic ending I swore not to do anything with it. Turtle Fan (talk) 14:12, August 24, 2013 (UTC) :It can't possibly be that bad. ::The grand finale is Hamnet boning Marcovefa to bring her out of a coma. That's what the prophecy was all about. But there's so much more beyond that. . . . Turtle Fan (talk) 15:19, August 26, 2013 (UTC) :Can you please call off your strike? Thought, hoped really, that it had ended a long time ago. Zhukov15 (talk) 01:29, August 26, 2013 (UTC) ::Sorry, I just hate this shitty story so much. And it started out all right. It was never going to be a masterpiece, but never in my worst nightmares did I expect it to end like that. Turtle Fan (talk) 15:19, August 26, 2013 (UTC) ::Yeah, but the whole series is too big for me to add more to by myself. So we need your knowledge of the books. Zhukov15 (talk) 15:48, August 26, 2013 (UTC) :::I don't have a ton of knowledge, actually. I read the books, wrote a scathing review on Amazon, threw them out, and blocked them from memory. The first book is about exploring the far north and making contact with the Rulers. The second is about beginning the war against the Rulers, which goes badly, and falling in with a thoroughly disturbing tribe of cannibals living on top of a glacier, where they meet Marcovefa, a super-powerful wizard whose magical skills are surpassed only by her ability to annoy the reader. She's still better than the Raumsdalian mage whose entire repertoire comes down to the sorts of "spells" Howard Wolowitz likes to cast on The Big Bang Theory. Then they get down and convince the Emperor to fight the Rulers, but the only way they can win is to have Marcovefa do everything for them, and when she gets a glancing wound that sends her to the rear, the battle goes badly. Book three is where the whole thing goes around the bend. As I said, it all comes down to Hamnet boning Marcovefa in her sleep (she had been hit with a poison dart or something that put her in a coma). That's why the Rulers' prophets wanted Hamnet killed long before Marcovefa had been introduced. The prophecies also said that each and every supporting character was equally important, but they all wound up just being along for the ride. The Golden Shrine was some temple on the bottom of a lake filled with people who claim to go around time instead of through it, or something. They show up after the battle has been won and take credit for the victory by claiming to have given Marcovefa spiritual guidance, even though they make it clear they didn't have a clue what was going on till Hamnet explained it to them. They punish Hamnet's intolerable ex-wife, for which I was grateful, though it wasn't half so severe as she deserved. They use some nonsensical Scriptural allusion of which they should have no knowledge to punish the emperor, who at first had done a passable impression of a decent monarch if you caught him on his best days, but turns out to have been a first-rate asshole all along thanks to the miracle of inconsistent characterization. Someone tries to make Hamnet emperor but he threatens to commit suicide, something he does quite often, casually and with no consideration of the tragedy of that act. Then he goes to hang out in his villa, which is still idyllically secure despite the war against the Rulers having led to the complete break down of the Raumsdalian social order. Marcovefa says "Fuck this, I'm going where the action is!" Trasamund (whom I actually did like) gets all pissy because Hamnet refused to invite him to stay at the villa (except he did no such thing) and invokes Barbarian Guest Rights. The two of them settle in for a little sausage fest, and I was finally free to leave the story behind. Hope that helps. Turtle Fan (talk) 17:15, August 26, 2013 (UTC)